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  #1  
Old 18th December 2018, 12:00 PM
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Arrow Lorenzo is a dick, but he's a fast one: says MotoGP legend Doohan

MotoGP legend Mick Doohan believes that Honda newboy Jorge Lorenzo has no excuses left for not winning another title as he will have the same equipment as current team-mate and reigning champion Marc Marquez.

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Doohan, who was generally regarded as having been gifted the fastest 500cc Honda during his domination of 90's Grand Prix that even a trained chimp could win on, thinks having both riders in one camp can only be good for the Honda Team as it will help to improve the bike further so that a Gerbil could possibly ride one in 2025.
“Jorge has no more excuses, he can't bitch from the sidelines now like Kenny Robers or Alex Crap'ille, as even though Marc has some history with Honda, he's still a shitty arsed gossen with the track marks from his nappy and Lorenzo is a stronger rider, with better fascial hair and a more evolved personality and maturity that's not lacking in post-pubescence intelligence as a racer”

“I think adapting to the way Honda work will be easy for him, But there’s no more of ‘I wish I had a pair of wings…’ or ‘if only last night in my dreams’, it’s the same proven platform now that's down to how you set the bikes up.

I remember back in the early nineties, we had improvised pepsi cans from yoshiwara that gave us another 20 brake hors // Cut / please stay on topic Mick
“Ok, so if Marc loses out to Lorenzo it’s only win-win because it will push them both to evolve into super humans with just one ultimate goal - domination and eradication of the other species. For me personally, I think Lorenzo is the Alpha male and will make Marquez his bitch, He’s been racing against him for a few seasons now, so he knows his strengths,. weaknesses and capabilities on a motorcycle, he knows all the emotional trickery and mind games that Rossi used to great effect for winning, simply aren't relevant here and it's now down to who's actually quickest around those circuits rather than who chokes under pressure, bins it and hands the other an easy win like the famous but short-lived VR46 winning days ”
“I think Marc can only improve. He’s just wee whipper-snapper half of Rossi's age, but maybe he ought to swallow those seminal fluids and go back cap in hand to Valentino before he retires and learn from the great master which buttons to push with Jorge to piss him off during those press conferences and annoy the hell out of him with media releases if he's to have any chance of coming out on top during 2019.

Lets face it Pedrosa was rubbish and only there to make up the numbers, he was a grumpy little tellie-tubbie who didn't push his team mate or anywhere near his own capabilities, cowering away to his motorhome like a pampered pussy while settling for an average wage, with average results and averagely topping up his midget-porno account with few million euro every season.

Learning from a hard ass multiple MotoGP Champion like Lorenzo can push Marquez even harder and providing he doesn't make shyte of himself and spend half the season in A&E, will ultimately make him a faster racer and help cultivate an enlightened introspection where he can see things happen before they even occur and ride out the other side a much better person with the raw talent and supernatural ability we tend to associate with 500GP riders from over 30 years ago”
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to drink Champagne, ride Asian hookers and catch the next flight back to Sydney with a 200Grand cheque made out to cash for these opinion articles and press releases from Honda,. Beat-it Earthling !”
said Doohan.
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Old 18th December 2018, 01:11 PM
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Default Re: Lorenzo is a dick, but he's a fast one: says MotoGP legend Doohan

"Said Doohan" Very creative
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Old 18th December 2018, 01:18 PM
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Default Re: Lorenzo is a dick, but he's a fast one: says MotoGP legend Doohan

Pretty much verbatim apart from light embellishing with paint strokes of artistic licence from reading between the lines.
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Old 18th December 2018, 02:17 PM
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Default Re: Lorenzo is a dick, but he's a fast one: says MotoGP legend Doohan

I think he meant lady-boys....said has-been Doohan.........
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Old 18th December 2018, 04:55 PM
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Default Re: Lorenzo is a dick, but he's a fast one: says MotoGP legend Doohan

Why do the hookers always have to be Asian........what's wrong with a slightly too old/heavy Spanish hooker???
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Old 18th December 2018, 05:05 PM
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Default Re: Lorenzo is a dick, but he's a fast one: says MotoGP legend Doohan

Originally Posted by cracker boy
Why do the hookers always have to be Asian........what's wrong with a slightly too old/heavy Spanish hooker???
.......... or a Galway hooker for that matter....
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Old 18th December 2018, 06:20 PM
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Default Re: Lorenzo is a dick, but he's a fast one: says MotoGP legend Doohan

Originally Posted by rdtz
.......... or a Galway hooker for that matter....
They dont shave......anywhere...
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